So, I got the weekly Focus on the Family e-mail today, clicked on an article, clicked on another, clicked around, and came across something titled "Can We Afford Children" (or something similar). Oh yes, I wanted to read that. This was going to be the perfect article. I was so sure it would say how stupid young couples are to start having kids when they can hardly pay their bills. It would certainly encourage people to be more like me, independent, with plenty of money before they even contemplate having children. "Take that!" I could say to my less wealthy, baby crazy friends.
I was wrong.
The article talked about being a good steward. Being wise with wealth was certainly mentioned. But I read something unexpected: being a good steward of . . . . fertility.
Ohboy.
Fertility. I'd forgotten about that. See, I'm old enough to be serious about marriage, and not just dating around, but I'm not old enough to start worrying about my biological clock. I've got 10+ years left to have children. I'm not sure when the right time is to start worrying about that, but it's gotta be another 5 years from now, at least. Worrying, though, and being a good steward are two different things. Maybe being a good steward of fertility means having children while I'm young and energetic. My body could bounce back easier and I could be more active with them. God tells us to be fruitful and multiply. Maybe being a good steward of fertility means leaving time to have multiple kids, not just one or two. Maybe, being a good steward of fertility is even linked to being a good steward of money. It gets harder for women to get pregnant as they get older. Maybe, all the money I've saving in my good financial stewardship days will just go to some sort of fertility treatment. Whatever the specifics are, one thing is clear: I'm not the best steward in the world. I know people who have neglected to be good stewards of some things, but I've neglected some of the things they have remembered.
I'm just blown away for multiple reasons. First, because I got "caught" in my prideful thinking. Second, because I've seen that maybe my priorities and pre-decided order for my life are a bit extreme. Third, because I always figured children were the ultimate crutch for the co-dependent person. Actually, I am positive that they still are. But, children are also something God designed for us and intended for us to be thoughtful and purposeful about. Me? I'm just floundering around in oblivion until I get married, or freak out because I'm getting too old. "Oblivion" doesn't sound like a word that is synonymous with "good stewardship" to me.
I'm not sure exactly how to be a good steward of fertility as a single person. The only thing I can come up with is to not spend my 20s being selfish and ridiculously picky about finding a spouse. I suppose that's good for me to contemplate, but there's something much bigger. A lesson on pride and being judgmental. I am not on top of the world. Concerning those people choosing marriage and family over wealth and security, well, they are my equals, if not higher. I am not the best out there, making the only possible good decisions.
The truth is that everyone is different. We're all making choices with the best of our individual abilities, knowledge, and experiences. So who am I to judge when my friends choose to have children? No one. No one at all.
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