The dance tonight was in the back room of DancEncounters, so I walked through the empty front room to get there. Somehow, seeing all those empty chairs made me feel empty inside. I guess with DE moving, I just wonder if it will be my last time there. I have lots of good memories there. I feel at home there. I'm a totally different person from the first time I was there. It's cool to remember that. I guess I'm not good with change, in general. And I just wonder if maybe things could have turned out differently. Maybe, it just wasn't meant to be this way. Change is just difficult.

Why I Hate Gossip

I was on the phone earlier with a friend, who we will call Jamie (I'm picking gender neutral names!). Jaime was talking about the last few weeks, and mentioned another friend, who we will call Casey. Jaime was telling me about when he/she had hung out with Casey recently. Apparently, Casey told Jaime that another friend, who we will call Taylor, was spending that day at my house. Jaime asked me how that went. Funny, because I was actually out that day, not sitting at home with Taylor.

So, what the heck?!

On the plus side, this gossip is not harmful to me at all, but it's still unnecessary.

Best case scenario: Casey and Taylor are talking, and Taylor says, "Hey, I'm thinking of seeing if Kristin wants to hang out today". Taylor has every right to say that. But then why does Casey think it's alright to repeat? Why does Casey even think it's worth repeating? Who cares? I mean, seriously, is it really that interesting?

Obviously, I have no idea if that is exactly what happened. I suppose I could get angry and confront a number of people and ask them about it, but it's not worth it. My problem with all this is that I would like to be in control of how much information about my life is public and how much is private. I have good reasons for this. This time the blowup was harmless, but what if it isn't harmless next time? In fact, just a few weeks ago I ended up lying to a good friend, because I knew the truth would be gossiped about and the lie wouldn't. The situation still blew up, because gossipers are always gossipers. That wasn't even the first time gossipers made a mess of something they shouldn't have been involved with in the first place. And I'm just sick of it. My life is not a tabloid.

And beyond that: Note that I referred to all three people as "friends". I'd hope a real friend could be a confidant. At least, I have that expectation of friendship. So clearly, these people are not quite the friends I thought they were.

Day Something Else

There's only a 2% chance that I actually have celiac disease.

Today sucked. I was expecting that, though.