I had the start of an annual tradition. For two years in a row, this week/weekend, I took a trip to Chicago. It wasn't just a trip, it was my trip. I traveled there on my own, I explored the city, I navigated the metro, I danced, I met new people. I had fun.

I didn't think it would matter if I didn't take the trip this year. And it's not even important why I'm not. Life happens, sometimes we can't do what we wish we could. I know there will be other trips in my lifetime, probably even to Chicago. And I get to keep all my good memories of the trips I did have. I thought I'd be sitting here thinking "those last two years were great! And this year, it's good for me to be home." Here I am, though, keenly aware I'd be leaving tonight. I'd have made my meals last night, and I'd be packing my clothes in the suitcase right now. I would be giddy with excitement.

It's silly, what I'm upset about: the movement of my life. See, traditions are supposed to grow with life. You start them, you recollect past memories each year. As you grow, so do the things around you, and your experiences. I should be able to look back and say something like this: "Wow, each year I took that trip, it took a smaller and smaller percentage of my budget" or "I've gotten so much better at packing meals over the years" or "I sure dress a lot better than I did a few years ago" or "I'm glad I finally learned to get sleep when I'm on vacation so I can have fun, and not be over tired for the last couple of days".

Last year, I could say those things. I looked at what had happened in the year and I was so proud and happy. I had moved forward.

But I don't know what to say now. This gauge of myself is at stop. And if there's one thing I stand for it's to never do that - to never be at a standstill. To ALWAYS be moving myself forward. I am 100% committed personal growth.

I know there are other gauges that are still showing I am on track.

I was partial to this one, though. I enjoyed the whole experience. My year just isn't the same without it.