Laughing at the Bad

This morning, on my way to work, a car pulled out in front of me. I slammed on my brakes and my phone, iPod, and the contents of a file folder fell onto the floor of my car. As the car slowly gained speed in front of me I frantically looked for the bowl of soup I had brought for lunch, hoping it hadn't spilled all over my car. There was no evidence of soup, which was at first a relief, and then I realized I'd left my lunch at home. Sure, I work on a very commercialized strip with plenty of cafes and fast food restaurants - none that cater to celiacs, however, so I realized it was no lunch for me. 

As I walked towards the door to work I realized something was wrong. I hesitated while I unlocked the door - Work did not feel right. I unlocked the door, hit the light switch, and nothing happened. I hit it again. Nothing happened. I made my way around the corner in the total dark, and hit the light switch in the next room. Nothing happened. I set my violin, viola, bag of files, and coffee mug on the floor and called my boss. One and a half hours, a nearly dead cell phone battery, and a lot of embarrassment later, the lights came on. 

My life is full of ABSOLUTELY ridiculous problems. So maybe the missing lunch isn't so unusual, but how many people honestly walk into their jobs on a Wednesday morning to the power having been shut off? I've had a lot of absurd problems recently - work and non-work - and they have upset me greatly. Yesterday I had a headache because I had spent so much time crying. I couldn't even eat, I was so upset. Today, when I walked into a school without power, I didn't cry - I laughed. 

I laughed because I am helpless. I realized, in that minute, that there was absolutely nothing I could do to make the lights turn on, no matter how badly I wanted them to come on. A man in an office building downtown has that power, but I do not. So often, I am given the power to solve problems. I solve, and solve, and solve, until I have no more energy to solve anymore, and then I keep solving. What a relief - to finally have a problem I could not solve! Instead of crying and worrying (ok, I admit it, there was some - but it was not overwhelming) until the power came back on I sat in a comfy chair in the dark and relaxed, and was thankful for the downtime, which I so rarely get. 

So what did I learn? Oddly, something my exceptionally wise boyfriend just asked me to learn last night, even through my persisting that it could never possibly happen. I can dislike a situation. It can be awkward, uncomfortable, upsetting, angering, frustrating - BUT, at the same time, I can be at peace with it, knowing it is out of my hands, and in the hands of someone who does have the power to fix it. 

God never fails to amaze me with what He can do.